{"id":686,"date":"2026-05-23T11:39:04","date_gmt":"2026-05-23T09:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.familie-kleinman.nl\/brain\/?p=686"},"modified":"2026-05-23T11:39:04","modified_gmt":"2026-05-23T09:39:04","slug":"kernel-panic-3-food-mayhem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familie-kleinman.nl\/brain\/index.php\/2026\/05\/23\/kernel-panic-3-food-mayhem\/","title":{"rendered":"Kernel Panic #3, Food Mayhem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">It has been a while since my last Kernel Panic! post.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">This one dates back to my very young self. I must have been around five years old at most, as I don\u2019t remember my younger brother being in the picture yet.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">The background of this kernel panic is set at the house of my great-grandparents on a beautiful warm Sunday somewhere in the early afternoon, just before dinner.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"592\" data-end=\"664\">Before I start this story, there\u2019s something important I should mention.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"592\" data-end=\"664\">I\u2019m on the autism spectrum, and food can sometimes be surprisingly difficult for people with autism.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"488\" data-end=\"589\">In Dutch we have a saying for this issue, although it is not specifically related to autistic people:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">&#8220;Wat de boer niet kent, dat vreet hij niet&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">This translates in English to somewhat like:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"650\">&#8220;If it looks unfamiliar, the Dutch peasant brain rejects it immediately.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"380\">And that is exactly what triggered this particular Kernel Panic.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"380\">I asked my grandmother what was for dinner.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"380\">Her answer:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"380\">&#8220;Goulash.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"316\" data-end=\"380\">Kernel panic in progress!<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">CEO Bob immediately demanded an emergency meeting.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">\u201cGoulash? What the heck is goulash?!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">The Smell Department issued multiple warnings:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Unknown aroma profile detected<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">No matching records found in the food database<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Suspicion levels rising<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Meanwhile, the Eye Department confirmed:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Brownish substance present in cooking container<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Texture unclear<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"813\">Threat assessment inconclusive<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"353\" data-end=\"412\">Bob, or rather\u2026 ME, immediately made an executive decision:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"353\" data-end=\"412\">There is absolutely no way I am eating whatever is currently cooking in that pan.<\/p>\n<p>What happened next still surprises me to this day.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"271\" data-end=\"370\">I told my grandma that I wasn\u2019t going to eat it because I didn\u2019t like the way it looked or smelled.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"271\" data-end=\"370\">All she said was:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"271\" data-end=\"370\">&#8220;Okay, that\u2019s fine. But you\u2019re not getting any treats until you\u2019ve eaten your dinner.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"309\">That afternoon I walked into the kitchen several times to see whether I was ready to eat my goulash.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"309\">After all, I really wanted that sweet treat!<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"309\">But every single time I saw the goulash with white rice, my stomach dropped and the system once again reported:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"309\">&#8220;Nope.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2>Short circuit<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">This was the first food-related kernel panic I can consciously remember.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">It definitely wasn\u2019t the last.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">Over the years I experienced quite a few food panics and short circuits.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">To name a few:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">Pizza for a very long time? HELL NO. Too unpredictable!<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">The first time I ate a cordon bleu. No big deal, you would say. But cheese and ham inside meat? NOPE!<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">Christmas dinner at work: deer loin with sauerkraut. I would probably love that now, but back then? Absolutely not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">Thankfully it became much better over time, and these days the list of things I actually eat is pretty extensive.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"693\">Still, food being recognizable and predictable helps enormously in my case.<\/p>\n<h2>Delayed short circuit<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">And a delayed short circuit and hard \u201cNOPE\u201d from my factory also occurs sometimes.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">The first bite gets accepted.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">The post-processing department, however, may still reject the entire food item several seconds, minutes, hours or even days later.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">Honorary mentions in that category are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">Carpaccio. Initial system acceptance succeeded. Follow-up encounter resulted in catastrophic rejection.<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">Raw endive mashed potatoes. First encounter: tolerated. Second encounter: emergency gag reflex activated.<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"371\">Cold shrimp dishes. Factory unable to process shrimp below operational temperature range.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">And to make things even weirder:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">I genuinely love cooked endive.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">But raw endive mixed into mashed potatoes?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">Absolutely not! No way! Nope! Nein! Nee! Njet! Never!<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">Apparently my factory classifies cooked and raw endive as two entirely separate species.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"494\">So yes, sometimes I genuinely feel like a culinary barbarian.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Somehow my factory permanently linked certain foods to certain temperatures and preparation methods.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Cold food belongs in the dessert category.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Ice cream? Fine.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Pudding? Fine<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Cold tomato soup as a dinner starter?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Critical computation failure!<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"319\">And then there\u2019s the weird exception:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"319\">Lettuce for dinner.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"319\">With cucumber, small pieces of apple, other fruits and a boiled egg?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"319\">Somehow my factory considers that the perfect dinner when it\u2019s warm outside.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"472\">One thing became painfully clear over the years:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"472\">The internal food protocol database is wildly inconsistent.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"472\">Closing words<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"538\" data-end=\"638\">Sometimes I genuinely wonder:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"418\">Am I the only one with these strange unwritten food rules inside my factory, or are there more people like this?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"418\">Or, put into factory perspective:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"418\">Surely I can\u2019t be the only person whose factory maintains a bizarre undocumented food protocol database&#8230;<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"418\">right?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"418\">Brain, the food barbarian, out!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It has been a while since my last Kernel Panic! post. This one dates back to my very young self. I must have been around five years old at most, as I don\u2019t remember my younger brother being in the picture yet. The background of this kernel panic is set at the house of my&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[157,443,79],"tags":[444,446,447,44,445],"class_list":["post-686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brain-factory-tm","category-food","category-kernel-panic","tag-food","tag-goulash","tag-inconsistent","tag-kernel-panic","tag-rules"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kernel Panic #3, Food Mayhem - Brain&#039;s Ramblings<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why does cold tomato soup crash my factory while lettuce with apple works perfectly fine? 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