For the past few years, we’ve had a sticker next to our doorbell that politely reads: “No door-to-door salespeople, please.” It works — 99% of salespeople (yes, even the polite ones in suits) see it, turn around, and leave us in peace. But then there’s a special breed of door-to-door sellers.

The kind who think these stickers are just… suggestions. One of those pricks — sorry, I don’t have a nicer word — rang our doorbell a few weeks ago.

Part 1, “Bert” at the door

My wife opened the door. It was “a KPN fiber internet guy”, let’s call him Bert — not trying to sell us anything, of course.

No, he just wanted to “give us some advice” about our internet

Yeah… Right.

Then he continued his stream of lies. Apparently, our internet cable was outdated and needed to be replaced. Uhh… it’s a fiber optic cable that was installed just over ten years ago.

And fiber is, well… ehhh fiber? It doesn’t really expire, does it? I mean — I could be wrong. But I’m probably not.

And of course — of course! — KPN’s internet was supposedly much cheaper than the subscription we currently had.

Spoiler alert: I checked that evening. KPN is actually more expensive.

My wife told him that I was “in charge” of our internet, and that she wouldn’t make any decisions on the spot.

The guy seemed a bit disappointed, said he’d come back later that evening — which, surprise surprise, he never did.

And that was it. …

Until this Monday.

Part 2, “Ernie” at the door

I had just arrived home after work and changed into my gym clothes, ready to head out, when I spotted a guy in a green KPN jacket walking down our street.

My immediate thought?

This could be the sequel.

And yep — after specifically targeting two of our neighbours, he walked right up to our doorstep. Unfortunately for him: I came prepared.

In hindsight, I do feel a bit sorry for the guy.

He wasn’t the same one as before — just an unlucky sequel character catching the wrath meant for his predecessor.
But… ehh… sorry not sorry?

This guy, let’s call him Ernie, started off by saying he was from KPN, and that — since KPN owns the fiber cable — they had no idea who my current provider was. If I could just give him that information?

Translation: a blatant lie, meant to extract info and launch the sales pitch from there.

I replied:

“No. I’m not giving you that information. If your company doesn’t know who’s using your own network, that sounds like a you problem.”

He was visibly baffled.
(And yes — even this autistic guy could pick up on that.)

He then tried a few different permutations of the same question. And I gave him the same answer — in the same number of permutations.  He didn’t like that.

Then he switched tactics. He asked how much we paid for our monthly internet subscription.

Translation: A soft reset — back to the sales pitch.

Again, I gave him an evasive answer:

“Why do you want to know that? I’m not going to tell you. That’s none of your business.”

Then he asked me why I was being so defensive.

So I told him the truth:

A colleague of yours came by a few weeks ago and told my wife a bunch of blatant lies.
And frankly, I’m fed up with door-to-door sales.

(Again, he didn’t like that.)

He even showed me his tablet, claiming he could see who had visited before — and that a follow-up visit had been planned.

Because of privacy, I won’t mention his real name here.

But Ernie wasn’t having it. He said he felt offended by my behavior.

I told him:

“That sounds like a you problem. Now I’d like you to leave my property.”

He mumbled something about how maybe he should try the house next door.  I confirmed his suspicion.

Then, in one final act of awkward politeness, he reached out his right hand for a handshake.

I refused.

Again.

Which, once more, seemed to genuinely startle poor Ernie.

And Ernie left the premises……

The End?!

Nope! ( but in a good way )

Part 3, a decent person! @ bluesky

Right after the encounter, I posted a rant on Bluesky about the situation — and how I’m completely fed up with door-to-door salespeople who ignore the very simple rule of “read the damn sticker.”

And today… KPN actually responded! No idea who it is, but I think I’m happy with the way it was handled.

Good afternoon Martin!
If you’ve indicated that you don’t want any more visits, they’re supposed to respect that.

Could you send us a DM with your postal code, house number, and the date/time of their last visit?
I’ll file a report and forward your request to the appropriate department this week.

I have responded. It seems they can’t find my previous entries where I asked to be deleted from their systems, but now they will. We’ll see about that.

The upside of the story is that I’m going to get a confirmation from them once the information has been processed — so I’ll have it in writing.

I also asked why they are telling blatant lies. Apparently, it’s not KPN itself who’s doing the door-to-door sales, but a separate contractor.

In the end, KPN remains responsible. Let’s hope they take real action against this contractor.

Conclusion

So: two jerks, and one actual decent person. Hopefully it’s fixed now.

Yes, I know.  I could have handled the situation differently.  It may even sound a bit childish, the way I responded.  I could’ve been polite. I could’ve just said, “No thanks, we’re not interested.”

But here’s the thing: KPN has had multiple opportunities to respect our wish to be left alone.

And they haven’t.

So honestly…

Why should I keep being polite to a company — or its contractors — that keeps ignoring that?

(And that’s not even mentioning the fact that their employees and/or contractors are simply telling lies.)

And a message to all door-to-door salesmen, women, sheep, dogs, or whatever you identify as —
Please don’t ring our doorbell.
Just don’t.