Human Gas Reserve (c) (r) ™: approx 18 m³ remaining

Human Gas Reserve™ – ehh wait… wh0t?!

“Shedding fat, one sarcastic calorie at a time.”

Let me explain. This morning, my scale showed 111.2 kg. To reach a healthy BMI of 25, I need to get to 92 kg. That means: 111.2 – 92 = 19.2 kg of excess body weight still to go.

1 kg of human fat contains around 7000 kcal. And 1 kcal is nothing more than 4.186 kilojoules (kJ). So converting from kcal to kJ is no big deal — just multiply. Once you’re in kJ, scaling up to megajoules (MJ) is even easier.

Let’s do the math:
7000 × 19.2 = 134,400 kcal I still need to burn.
That’s 134,400 × 4.186 / 1000 = 562.6 MJ of stored energy.

Still with me? Lets do some conversions:

• 562,6MJ=156kWh (Yes — the same unit you use to calculate your electricity bill. And yes — I just converted body fat into kilowatt-hours. You’re welcome.)
• 562,6MJ=17,6l E10 ( Euro95 ). (And yep. I just converted my body fat to the dino fluid you dump in your car. )
• 562,6MJ=17,8m3 natural gas (And again… yep. I did the same conversion — this time to Groningen Gas equivalent™.)

Just take a minute to think about this.

I still need to shed 19.2 kg of fat — the energy equivalent of 17.6 liters of petrol. It’ll take me at least until the end of the year to burn through it.

Now dump 17.6 liters of Euro95 in your car and start driving. Depending on your right foot, it’ll be gone in a couple of hours. That’s how slowly the human body burns fuel.

And I can’t install a turbocharger on my left leg to speed up the process 😛

“Forget solar panels — I’ve got abdominal storage.”

And to make it even stranger. 19,2kg fat is also approximate 13,5kg of TNT in energy terms. But my fat takes months to lose, 13,5kg TNT can be gone in under 0,00002 seconds.

So eh. “I don’t diet — I disarm myself… one sarcastic calorie at a time.”

Brain out!