CSI: Locked Room Edition — featuring zero clues and one pissed-off Brain.
Someone broke into my office. No, scratch that — someone accessed my office in a locked, secured building without leaving any trace whatsoever.
They took my VR headset. They took my Dyson vacuum cleaner. But they left behind something far more annoying: a gaping hole in the logic.
But I know what I saw.
I know what I did.
I am not crazy!
The plot
Last Friday, June 6th, 2025, I left my office around 16:00 for a long weekend off. As I walked out, I glanced at my desk and saw the VR headset.
“Damn, what a mess. I really should tidy that up,” I thought.
But I left it on the table. Closed the door. Locked the door. And yes — I double-checked the handle. (Call it autistic OCD, I call it peace of mind.)
And then I left.
I also left my company laptop there, thinking: I’ll grab it on Monday. But on Sunday, while we were out visiting someone, we happened to drive past the office. I asked, “Would it be a problem if I just pick up my laptop now instead of tomorrow?”
Easy said, easy done — we took the exit towards my office.
The Heist!
Office locked. Key fit. Door opened. Nothing weird.
(Which is weird, considering what came next.)
Then my wife said something that immediately felt off: “Hey, your cupboard is open. That’s not like you.” I walked over and checked its contents.
Something felt… wrong.
Then I turned to see my wife staring at the table. The table where the VR headset should’ve been.
Picture this like a movie:
Camera slowly panning across the desk. Pauses. Then pans back… slowly zooming in.
HEY — WHAT THE FUCK — MY VR SET IS GONE.
I checked everywhere.
Did I misplace it?
Wait… I know! The special case I use to transport the VR set — that was in the cupboard.
It’s gone too.
Again: WHAT. THE. FUCK. happened here?!
I inspected the lock. The doorframe.
No signs of foul play. No scratches. Nothing forced. Just a locked door… and missing gear.
I called the property manager. To their credit, they came by as soon as they could. We checked everything. The front door of the building? Open — it couldn’t fall shut into its own lock. The security camera in the lobby?
It was recording… *drumroll* the inner wall!
Fantastic.
He replaced the lock on my office door and promised to check all the access logs and camera footage.
On Wednesday, I returned to the office and noticed something else was missing: the vacuum cleaner that stood right next to the door.
This wasn’t clumsy.
This wasn’t random.
This was a classic snatch-and-grab.
And it explains why nothing else was taken: One person, two free hands.
They entered the room with access, grabbed the vacuum cleaner standing near the door, spotted the cupboard, turned, saw the VR headset, took that too — including the official storage case — and vanished.
Without leaving a single trace.
Measures
Roger’s new motto: Leave no dust… or evidence.
I immediately removed the device from my account and triggered a remote factory reset.
But then it got even weirder.
No suspicious access logs were recorded. Nothing on the security footage.
No signs of break-ins at any other company in the building.
Just me.
Just my office.
Just a few things missing: VR headset, charger, controllers… and a vacuum cleaner.
A vacuum cleaner.
Roger — is this one of your side quests again?
I don’t get it.
Mission Impossible
My VR set’s gone, but hey, at least the mystery is fully immersive.
How did they do this? Walk through my walls?
Crawl over the ceiling like it’s Mission Impossible?
Because that’s what it feels like — a heist without fingerprints, keys, or camera footage.
And why me — and me alone?!
That’s the story so far.
To be continued…?
Rant done.
Headset gone.
Vacuum cleaner? Also gone.
Someone’s cleaning out my life — literally.
Brain out ( and still pissed off )
If this was a puzzle game, I’d be rage-quitting by now